Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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