They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
