Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
