every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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