i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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