i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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