We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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