tell your sister to shave her snatch
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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