Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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