just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
