Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize