I've blown a few things in my day
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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