what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
