I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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