even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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