So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I smell like Dick and happiness
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
