omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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