Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
