I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
