ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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