and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
