I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
