What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
