You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
