WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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