how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
