worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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