2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
