Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
