am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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