Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
