k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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