Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize