I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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