Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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