She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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