I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize