He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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