I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
