Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
