When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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