you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
