We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
