love makes seman taste better
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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