You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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