i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
