and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
