why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
