remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
