sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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