Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize