took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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