Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
