Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
