Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Boobs speak an international language.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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